hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
