so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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