So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I lost the right to judge tonight
Randomize
