you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
