Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
