If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
