so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
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