I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
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