Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
nothing like going to the bathroom, running into the wall, thinking its a person and saying"its ok i just had the 4 beers" even the wall knew i was lying
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The adults are the big ones right?
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Randomize
