before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
