Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
