why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
