i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
