i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I really hope you are not drunk feeding a raccoon.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
Randomize
