The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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