My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Randomize
