i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
