Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
He passed out mid-signature
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
