We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
