he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
