it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
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