I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
