Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
