You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
