Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
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