the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
