Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Randomize
