I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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