And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
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