i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I HAVE DISCOVERED LONDON AND IT FILLS ME WITH JOY
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
