She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
