Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
