I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
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