i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Randomize
