I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
