i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
