Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Next time i try to unbutton my R.A's shirt with my teeth, please stop me
No promises.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
