Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
