Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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