am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
Randomize
