What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
