I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
