hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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