"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
