This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Dude I broke her toilet blowing some dude. I wasn't going to turn down the 300$ he offered to fix it.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize