He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
