he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
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