We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Randomize
