I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
