areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Randomize
