a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize