You're my little dorito
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
Randomize
