OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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