I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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