You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
