OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
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