I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
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