id be glad to
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
I deserve to be covered in dicks
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
