Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Randomize
